QOD: Don’t let the same dog bite you twice. ~ Chuck Berry (né Charles Edward Anderson Berry; Oct. 18, 1926 ~Mar. 18, 2017), African-American guitarist and songwriter
I'd Like To Buy a Vowel. Sorry, but you can only get a U. The only vowel in each of the theme answers is a U.
17-Across. *   Busy stretch at a sandwich shop: LUNCH RUSH.
25-Across. *   Crumple, as notepaper filled with bad ideas: SCRUNCH UP.
36-Across. *   Fare that pairs well with beer: PUB GRUB.  Rhyming answer.
38-Across. *   Ticket marketplace with a FanProtect Guarantee: STUB HUB.  Rhyming answer.
52-Across. * Source of bribe money, perhaps: SLUSH FUND.
And the unifier:
62-Across. "I'm handing this off now," and a phonetic description of the answers to the starred clues: IT'S ALL YOU. (U). At first I thought the answer might be rhyming, but that fit only 2 of the answers.
Across:
1. "Barbaric" cry in Whitman's "Song of Myself": YAWP.  Not a good start for a Tuesday puzzle.
5. Departed: LEFT.
9. Stockpile: AMASS.
14. Actress Falco: EDIE.  Edie Falco (née Edith Falco; b. July 5, 1963) portrayed Carmela Soprano on the HBO series The Sopranos.  We binged on this show during the first weeks of the Covid shut-down.     Edie Falco made a guest appearance in the puzzle just last Sunday.  [Name # 1.]
15. Thin batteries: AAAs.  Tiny rods.16. "Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!" host Peter: SAGAL.  Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me is a weekly radio game show where contestants are quizzed about the week's news.  Peter Sagal (né Peter Daniel Sagal; b. Jan. 31, 1965) is a humorist who hosts the show.  [Name # 2.]
19. Dish: PLATE.
20. Snuck a look: PEEKED.
21. Clock readout: TIME.
23. Shoe front: TOE.
24. Verbalize: SAY.
27. Lets off steam: VENTS.
29. Lightbulb unit: WATT.
30. "Fiddlesticks!": RATS.
31. Brief "If you ask me": IMO.  Textspeak for In My Opinion.  This had become a crossword staple.
32. Letter-shaped support: I-BAR.
34. Provençal pal: AMI.  Today's French lesson.
42. Farmyard oinker: PIG.
43. Worrisome grades: DEEs.
44. Actress de Armas: ANA.  Ana de Armas (née Ana Celia de Armas Caso; b. Apr. 30, 1988) is a Cuban actress.  She portrayed the nurse in the movie Knives Out.  She appeared in a previous crossword that I commented on.  [Name # 3.]
45. __ facto: IPSO.  Today's Latin lesson.  This is a phrase a term-of-art in law which translates as "by the fact itself."
48. "__ sesame!": OPEN.  Open Sesame is the magical phrase that opens the cave in the story of Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves.
50. Otherwise: IF NOT.
54. Scoundrel: CAD.
55. Used to be: WAS.  I have a friend who refers to her ex-husband as her Wasband.
56. Natural hairstyle: AFRO.
57. Infomercial disclaimer: PAID AD.
60. College application part: ESSAY.
64. Revise: AMEND.
65. __ as a pin: NEAT.
66. Watch over, as sheep: TEND.
67. Odorless gas: RADON.  Everything you wanted to know about Radon but didn't know to ask.
68. Tacks on: ADDS.
69. Poems of praise: ODES.  How about a Limerick to a sheep instead?
Down:
1. [You stepped on my paw!]: YELP.
2. For two voices, in music: A DUE.  Today's Italian lesson.  This term appears occasionally in the puzzles.
3. Connoisseur who likely scoffs at boxed Merlot: WINE SNOB.  I may not be drinking Bordeaux, but I like my Cardbordeaux.
4. Eat like a bird: PECK AT.
5. Baker's fat: LARD.
6. __ de toilette: EAU.
7. Tracy Chapman hit with the line "Won't have to drive too far": FAST CAR.  Fast Car is one of Tracy Chapman's (b. Mar. 30, 1964) best known songs.  [Name # 4.]
8. Summer top: T SHIRT.
9. Colorado ski resort: ASPEN.
10. Prefix with practice: MAL-.  As in Malpractice.
11. "Death on the Nile" novelist Christie: AGATHA.  In addition to writing crime novels, Dame Agatha Christie (née Agatha Mary Clarissa Miller; Sept. 15, 1890 ~ Jan. 12, 1976) is known for her own mysterious disappearance.  [Name # 5.]
12. Stayed on the sidelines: SAT OUT.
13. Snoozes: SLEEPS.
18. Activation phrase for Apple's digital assistant: HEY, SIRI.
22. Change genetically: MUTATE.
25. DNA test kit item: SWAB.
26. High-sided bed: CRIB.
27. Big shot, briefly: VIP.
28. Ostrich kin: EMU.
33. "Scram!": BUG OFF.
35. Broadway offering: MUSICAL.  Some of the top Broadway musicals in 2022.
37. Main mail ctrs.: GPOS.  As in General Post Office.  //  Followed by:  38-Down. Put in the mail: SEND.
39. Like some small-batch textiles: HAND DYED.  Back when I was in high school, we tie-eyed our t-shirts.
40. Card game with an American Girl version: UNO.  Who knew?
41. Belfry critter: BAT.
43. Stood for: DENOTED.
45. "Cross my heart!": I SWEAR.
46. Blood component: PLASMA.
47. Figured (out): SUSSED.
49. Fancy Feast maker: PURINA.  [Name adjacent]
51. "I __ see the humor here": FAIL TO.
53. Composer known as the "Father of the Symphony": HAYDN.  Franz Joseph Haydn (Mar. 31, 1732 ~ May 31, 1809) was known as Papa Haydn.  [Name # 6.]
57. Butter portions: PATS.
58. Top of the line: A-ONE.
59. Disappointing fireworks: DUDS.
61. "It's __-win situation": A NO.
63. Glum: SAD.
Here's the Grid:
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